


it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss

by lesbinej



Series: tumblr kiss prompts TWO! [6]
Category: Runaways (Comics)
Genre: F/F, Kissing, References to Depression, haha just kidding.... unless...?, karolina has anxiety lol, this is basically a what if issue 4 happened but they DID kiss, uh i cant think of any tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 11:36:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21319555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbinej/pseuds/lesbinej
Summary: Anonymous said: deanoru 7 please!7. "i missed you" kisstitle mr brightside/the killers
Relationships: Karolina Dean/Nico Minoru
Series: tumblr kiss prompts TWO! [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1473584
Comments: 7
Kudos: 78





	it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss

**Author's Note:**

> anon i just want u to know that if u read chapter 8 of biry u get the same premise but anyways

Karolina’s outside the apartment door that belongs to the hastily scribbled address on a scrap of notebook paper she’s got clutched between her hands like she’s afraid it might blow away if she doesn’t hold it tight enough. 

It’s Nico’s address. 

The ‘47’ over the door is a little crooked and dusty, like she knocked it forever ago and just never fixed it. It makes sense, for Nico, at any rate.

Karolina squeezes her eyes shut—it had been easy to pretend, to push everything away for two years when they were all separate, apart, but now… now she has to own up to herself. And maybe she’s realizing that avoiding something isn’t the same as working through it, solving it, coming to terms with it.

(Maybe she never came to terms with herself.)

Nico’s smile, Nico’s hair, Nico’s… well, her everything—it makes Karolina spin in ways it shouldn’t, because she’s dating someone else and she shouldn’t still be ass over teakettle for someone that rejected her years ago, but nobody ever said she was somebody functional and it’s a lot harder to ignore feelings than she thinks it is, anyways. 

With a deep breath to steady herself, a moment, two, three—she finally gathers the resolve to knock on the door, hoping against hope that maybe Nico isn’t home, she isn’t there and Karolina doesn’t know if that would be better or worse, and she doesn’t have time to come up with an answer for herself before the door cracks open just a tad. 

It’s Nico—in all of her five foot four glory, looking like… a literal trainwreck. Like, she kind of looks like a wet rat that got hit by an airplane, somehow. And despite that, Karolina’s nervous and suddenly feeling very over-presenting, like she should’ve somehow known Nico was sitting around in no bra and no makeup and matched herself accordingly, but instead she looks like she just walked away from Coachella or something. 

Nico, two years ago, would’ve teased her with something along the lines of  _ ‘but you always look like you got out of Coachella ten minutes ago.’  _

“Karrie?”

Karolina swallows. “Hi.”

“How did you even find me?”

Oh. That’s right—Nico doesn’t know that Karolina sort of had to sic her girlfriend on her old crush (she swears she’ll explain everything to Julie eventually, she just… doesn’t know how) and stalk her a little bit.

“You’re still in the Avengers database. I kind of, um, had Julie look you up for me?”

“...Right.”

Nico’s face instantly sours at the mention of Karolina’s girlfriend, as pretty much always—they never got along, to Karolina’s utter bewilderment. Well, Julie might have a reason to not like Nico, but Nico always seemed to love whomever Karolina loved—except Xavin, she guesses. Everyone else, though, that held true. And also, to be fair, not many of them really loved having Xavin around except for herself…

The thought makes Karolina somber, and she shakes it off quickly. 

“Can I come in?”

Wordlessly, Nico steps back to let Karolina into the tiny, dark apartment that looks kind of like a depressive episode turned into a living space. There’s cold noodles on the stove that haven’t even been cooked, the curtains are drawn, and the mattress on the floor is in disarray. Karolina can’t help but feel like an intruder in here.

She sits on the time machine that Chase had dropped into the center of the room, which was awfully inconsiderate of him—she’s tense and unsure what to do next, unsure of what even she was expecting by coming here. 

“I’ve been thinking about what you said…” She starts, hesitant, unsure, and only just now realizing that Gert and Chase are nowhere to be seen. “Where… where’s everyone else?”

Nico’s face is a deep melancholy, a kind Karolina is intimately familiar with. She looks tired—so tired, so lonely, so, so ready to just go to sleep and not wake up. Karolina understands Nico in the moment so well they might as well be one person.

“Rumors of our reunion have been… greatly exaggerated.” Nico sits down next to Karolina, shoulder shunted so that she’s not  _ really  _ next to Karolina, leaning away from her slightly. 

They forgot how to exist around each other, Karolina guesses. 

“Gert stayed with Molly. Chase went back to his cave. And I’m… here.”

The defeat in her voice is palpable, so thick Karolina could slice it and serve it with a garnish. It wrenches her heart in a different way, the kind that wants to bring her close and hold her and run her fingers though her hair, soothing her and kissing her and promising that everything will be all right. 

But that’s not who they are. 

“Oh,” is all she can say. Anything more is dangerous, too close to her heart, too much to bring to someone she used to know so well, so fiercely, someone who was as much of a part of her as an arm or a leg or her veins or her lungs. Nico  _ is  _ her—she’s Nico and it is unbearable to be so close and so distant at the same time. 

She’s so wrapped up in her thoughts, staring at her open palms and deliberately  _ not  _ looking at Nico that she misses Nico leaning closer, misses the way Nico is looking at her, misses the split second that Nico made her decision and closed the gap.

Karolina jumps in surprise—Nico’s lips on hers wasn’t what she was expecting… but all of a sudden, she can’t protest. She can’t fight it. Even though the back of her brain, the logical part of it is  _ screaming  _ that she has a girlfriend and she can’t  _ do  _ this, the part of her that belongs to Nico, the part of her that never stopped being Nico’s is just pulling her in closer, drinking in the moment that shouldn’t belong to her, it shouldn’t but she’s here and she grabs Nico’s cheeks with both hands, deepening the kiss. 

Nico’s startled by Karolina’s firm reaction, but after a second, she relaxes, her hand coming to rest on Karolina’s thigh, other hand still tangled on her bicep—Karolina’s trying so hard to just breathe, breathe it in because it doesn’t feel real, breathe because she  _ will  _ forget to breathe if she doesn’t remember to, breathe because she’s kissing Nico and she’s so warm and lovely and vibrant and  _ kissing her back,  _ and it’s magical and everything Karolina’s ever wanted in her life. 

Nico’s lips are warm, soft—they pull Karolina in again and again, like she’s magnetic and Karolina’s just lost in her gravity. It feels so familiar, somehow—like they’ve kissed a million and one times and this is just following in those steps, the steps that haven’t even been set but it feels like Karolina could do cartwheels up and down them. That’s this kiss. 

Eventually, Nico pulls away, just far enough that their lips aren’t touching anymore—Karolina admittedly chases her lips a little, almost whining for more. Their foreheads rest together, sharing breaths, personal space completely forgotten.

“I missed you,” Nico admits with a small smile, pink lipstick smudged all over her lips. Karolina’s eyes close, drinking in the pocket outside of reality as long as she can before it collapses. Before she has to go back to the real world. 

“I missed you, too,” Karolina says, and she means the words with her whole chest. 

Then the dream ends. 

**Author's Note:**

> *obi wan from that one tumblr post voice* but can't we allow ourselves the joy of what might have been?  
disclaimer im aware that this is like not a good way to get their relationship going lmao but ya its karolinas dream leave her alone


End file.
